BABY , HOW CAN I MOVE ON WHEN IM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU

Went to pizzahut with Meiqi/Nad/Jade/Sam/Rex just now . Before that as we were leaving school , Asyraf and Qhayreel were looking at us , then Nadia shouted "bastard!" I was like damn shocked . I feel kinda bad cause it isn't any of his fault . Yeah maybe i shouldn't have started the fight , i mean smoking is already a habit , and it can't be changed , so why did i get so worked up over it and maybe sometimes people show love to each other in a different way .Everything is coming back to me now , i don't know why i still love him ,you might think that by now i am over him , but no my feelings my heart , everything is with him . I can't love anyone else like i loved him . It would be cheating , and it would hurt the other party . I know , i should move one but it's hard to let go . I never loved anyone else but him , i don't know why . The feelings i have for him are soo complicated . I think the reason i broke up with him was because i felt like he didn't love me .But thinking back , he made me feel happy . When i needed someone to talk to , he was there . We had really fun times together , at camp , on our date when we watch fast and furious. I remember everything so clearly , these memories will never go away . Since sec 2 , the first time we were together , i remember everything . Why can't i let go ? Why can't i move on and get over you ? Why do i still love you ? Idk , i just love being around him . It makes me happy/loved . Without him here with me , it feels so empty . Maybe he doesn't love me anymore , but i know i still do . I still love him . My feelings haven't faded . It takes time for me . I feel guilty all the time . Sometimes i feel like texting him saying " im sorry " or " do you wanna patch " or " i still love you even though you might not feel the same way " but i guess i have no courage to do so.Love is a losing game i guess .. Joanne said maybe because there wasn't any closure , but i don't want things to end .. It's really painful , maybe because we are in the same school.. and i see him all the time . I cried myself to sleep that day , i didn't expect things to turn out this way . I miss your voice , i miss your smile , i miss your hug , i miss holding your hand , i miss talking to you / texting you on the phone , i miss poking you , i miss being with you , i miss you , i miss everything about you . I feel guilty about everything too , and im sorry qhayreel . I still love you . If we could you know start it again ... *sigh* i feel damn stupid now .
27 Feb to 5 May .
It's been 12 days :(


i will fly into your arms , and be with you , till the end of time , why are you so far away , you know its very hard for me , to get myself close to you
this song reminds me of him

Cheryl
Fifteen.
I like bright neon colours and city highways filled with red cars, rainy sunday afternoons, popcorn and choochoo trains. I'd watch Disney Channel every hour of the day if I could. Dum dee dum , well okay , im a superhero and i will save the world ! ( hah! like as if you would believe me ) British guys and their accent are hot ! && I have facebook/myspace , ask me for it if ya wanna know .